Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
