hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
