please come you make the beer taste better
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
