The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
