when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
