He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
