Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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