Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
