I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
