something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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