Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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