Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
