So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
