Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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