His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've blown a few things in my day
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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