So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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