Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I only lived at night.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
