this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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