wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
