listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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