got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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