id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Drake has all the answers
I lost the right to judge tonight
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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