i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
