NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
