i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
