As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we should paint friendship bongs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
