Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
