I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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