the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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