Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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