Can Purell be used as lube?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
