Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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