Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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