I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
