I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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