ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
