Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
