Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
