The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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