So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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