he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
