Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't deserve a penis
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
