Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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