Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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