I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
