sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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