mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
