hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
