Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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