Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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