This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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